Humor | SCHOOL OF NO MEDIA: Beyond the Described & the Prescribed

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The Unlearning Specialist — Sat, 28 Nov 2015 20:07:10 +0000

[Ed.: Are words just by themselves the essence of hyperbole?]

Death by Internet Hyperbole: Literally Dying Over This Column
By Jessica Bennett

From the New York Times
The text exchange was unspectacular: a friend explaining a video that had been posted by a classmate to his Snapchat feed. Jordana Narin, my 20-year-old research assistant, was half paying attention, sitting in my living room working on a project, texting between breaks.

“Omg literally dying,” she typed back, not missing a beat. She turned back to her computer.

But Jordana wasn’t literally dying. She wasn’t figuratively dying, either. In fact, she didn’t even crack a smile.

“I don’t even know what she’s talking about,” she told me when I asked. “I want to be like, ‘I don’t care.’”

But instead, she typed what to some may seem like the most dramatic response imaginable. Except that it wasn’t.

“It’s almost like ‘dying’ has become a filler for anytime anyone says anything remotely entertaining,” she said. “Like, if what you’re saying won’t legitimately put me to sleep, I respond with, ‘OMG dying.’”

R.I.P. to the understatement. Welcome to death by Internet hyperbole, the latest example of the overly dramatic, forcibly emotive, truncated, simplistic and frequently absurd ways chosen to express emotion in the Internet age (or sometimes feign it).

Other examples: THIS (for when a thing is so awesome you are at a loss for how to describe it); feeeeeels (for something that gives you multiple feelings); unreal!!!! (for when a thing is totally believable and only mildly amusing); yassssss (because “yes” will no longer do); -est (greatest, prettiest, cutest, funniest) EVER, which now applies to virtually all things; and “I can’t even,” for when something leaves you so emotive that you simply cannot even explain yourself.

There’s also a;lsdkjfa;lsdkgjs; meaning “I’m so excited/angry/speechless that all I can do is literally slam my hands/head/body against the keyboard” (thus producing a series of gibberish that usually involves the letters a, s, d and k).

“I use ‘I can’t even’ whenever I talk about babies or puppies, or sometimes couples, but not like couples our age, but older couples like my parents,” said Sharon Attia, my other 20-year-old researcher, a photojournalism student at New York University.

Other members of the “I can’t even” advisory system, she said, include: “I can’t,” “I just can’t even,” “I cannot,” “I literally cannot” and “I have lost the ability to even,” each of which can be used interchangeably to express hilarity, excitement, embarrassment, that something’s cute, that something’s hideous, or just that you’re freaking out.

But hyperbolic death is perhaps its own linguistic category, with recent causes that include (at least according to my Facebook feed): Beyonce’s Instagram (“dyyying”); a video of a huskie looking shocked when his owner wouldn’t give him the last bite of his food (“*dead*”); and Hillary Clinton, who was captured in a GIF brushing off the shoulder of her blazer during the 11-hour Benghazi hearings (“This is the best thing to ever have happened”).

Eternal rest can also take the form of “dying” (death in process), “not breathing” (first sign of possible death), “all the way dead,” “actually dead” and “literally dead” (just so you know), as well as “literally bye” (for when you’re about to die), “ded” (when you are dying so fast that typing an “a” would delay the entire process) and “RIP me” (after you’ve had a moment to process it). There’s also kms, or “killing myself,” which, as 15-year-old Ruby Karp, a high school student in Manhattan, explained it, can be used to say something like “ugh so much homework kms!”

In Jordana’s case, “dying” or “dead” had been used in recent conversations to respond to:

A friend drunk-texting.

Seeing a Dane Cook look-alike and his dog on the street.

An unlikely romantic pairing.

A friend live-tweeting “50 Shades of Grey” (so good she was “dying AND dead”).

How good an article was.

Hearing an author she admired speak (“omg actually dying”).

Eating Pringles in bed.

“‘Literally dying’ has become, like, the new LOL,” she said, referring to the acronym for “laugh out loud,” which, of course, if you know literally anything about Internet speech, means precisely the opposite.

The trend toward hyperbole appears to echo a broader belief among experts that young women are its first adopters. Studies have shown that women tend to be more expressive, using more personal pronouns, more emotive words, more abbreviations like LOL, as well as creative punctuation, emoji and even more descriptive hashtags.

But such speech is not limited to them. “I can’t even” has been around for at least a few decades, part of a linguistic concept known as “negative polarity,” when there are two negatives in a sentence. The use of “literally” in situations where “figuratively” would fit perfectly — you know, it was literally 100 degrees just last week — has been in use since at least the 1700s, said Jane Solomon, a lexicographer at Dictionary.com. And hyperbole is in some ways necessary, as the impact of certain words erodes with time. (Think of how “great” used to mean really great, like Catherine the Great great, whereas now it’s hardly better than “good.”)

The Internet has taken all these speech patterns and hit them with a dose of caffeine: the need to express emotion in bite-size, 140-character bits; the fact that we must come up with increasingly creative ways to express tone and emphasis when facial cues are not an option. There’s a performative element, too: We are expressing things with an audience in mind.

“I think this may be one of the major parts for social media; you are stepping onto a stage,” said Tyler Schnoebelen, a linguist and founder of Idibon, a company that uses computer data to analyze language. “Performance generally requires the performer to be interesting. So do likes, comments and reshares. Exaggeration is one way to do that.”

And so it is, then, that a member of the boy band One Direction shows off his pecs onstage, and girls on Tumblr coo that their “ovaries are exploding.” That when the pop star Taylor Swift hosts a series of surprise listening parties for a new album, her fans respond that “My poor heart could not keep up,” “call me an ambulance,” “we all died” and “I literally had to plan my funeral arrangements cause I wasn’t going to make it.” Even editors do it, writing headlines that declare “This rapper will restore your faith in humanity” (really? Will he?) or that you “need to drop everything and watch this.” Yes, it’s as if we speak in click-bait now, every response more dramatic than the last.

Yet if a bacon-flavored ice cream sundae gives you all the “feels ever,” or you are “dead” over a cute cat photo, how do you respond if something is actually dramatic?

One idea is to play dead. That’s the concept behind @omgliterallydead, an Instagram account that features a skeleton (“Skellie”) engaging in everyday activities: drinking a pumpkin-spice latte, relaxing in a sauna; out for sushi. Skellie is a play on death, clearly, yet when I mentioned him to a college student I know, she responded: “Skellie is LIFE!!!!” (What’s more dramatic than being six feet under, rolling in your grave, actual skeleton dead? “The afterlife, obviously,” joked Gretchen McCulloch, a linguist.)

Or, if you’re Madison Jones, Ms. Narin’s roommate who recently responded “dead” to a baby picture her father had texted her, you prompt a family-wide panic about the state of your health.

“What?? Dead what??” her dad texted. “Maddy?”

“Dad I’m fine holy cow!” she replied. “Dead at that pic cause it’s rly cute!!!”

Jessica Bennett’s first book, “Feminist Fight Club,” will be published in 2016.
© New York Times 2015

Nature Rx

The Unlearning Specialist — Fri, 14 Aug 2015 11:06:09 +0000

Nature will kick you in the face or kill you… but some of us are in need of just that.

MORE ABOUT THIS

Jon Stewart’s BS Meter

The Unlearning Specialist — Tue, 11 Aug 2015 23:20:14 +0000

From the last episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart – his goodbye advice:

Uncensored – Three Different Kinds of Bulls**t

“The best defense against bullshit is vigilance.” Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart describes different types of corruption and lies and then calls on the audience to take action. (4:29)

Stock Lives

The Unlearning Specialist — Sat, 06 Jun 2015 13:45:02 +0000

The insights from this video can be extended to any ad.
It is not a question of using stock footage or not.
Every ad appeals to a great variety of clichés.
To plug into you, ads (and most media) tap into what has already been said
– what is taken for granted –
and call it: “communicating with an audience.”

“This Is a Generic Brand Video for Generic Lives”

Original Texy by Kendra Eash published on Timothy Mcsweeneys.Net

We think first
Of vague words that are synonyms for progress
And pair them with footage of a high-speed train.

Science
Is doing lots of stuff
That may or may not have anything to do with us.

See how this guy in a lab coat holds up a beaker?
That means we do research.
Here’s a picture of DNA.

There are a shitload of people in the world
Especially in India
See how we’re part of the global economy?
Look at these farmers in China.

But we also do business in the U.S.A.
Or want you to think we do.
Check out this wind energy thing in Indiana,
And this blue collar guy with dirt on his face.
Phew.

Also, we care about the environment, loosely.
Here’s some powerful, rushing water
And people planting trees.
Our policies could be related to these panoramic views of Costa Rica.

In today’s high speed environment,
Stop motion footage of a city at night
With cars turning quickly
Makes you think about doing things efficiently
And time passing.

Lest you think we’re a faceless entity,
Look at all these attractive people.
Here’s some of them talking and laughing
And close-ups of hands passing canned goods to each other
In a setting that evokes community service.

Equality,
Innovation,
Honesty
And advancement
Are all words we chose from a list.

Our profits
are awe-inspiring.
Like this guy who’s looking up and pointing
At a skyscraper or a kite
While smiling and explaining something to his child.

Using a specific ratio
of Asian people to Black people to Women to White men
We want to make sure we represent your needs and interests
Or at least a version of your skin color
In our ads.

Did we put a baby in here?
What about an ethnic old man whose wrinkled smile represents
the happiness and wisdom of the poor?
Yep.

To time to read again Mythologies by Roland Barthes?

Words and Concepts that Blind Us

The Unlearning Specialist — Wed, 08 Apr 2015 03:46:44 +0000

[Partial translation into English]

Gébé from “Cracher dans l’Eau”

Original in French

Original en français par Gébé dans “Cracher dans l’Eau”

Unlearning Gun Culture

The Unlearning Specialist — Tue, 24 Mar 2015 15:11:06 +0000

GUNS WITH HISTORY (from States united to prevent Gun Violence)
Opening a gun shop in NYC for first-time gun owners.

We all have history…

Any Given Moment: Brother Steindl-Rast

The Unlearning Specialist — Thu, 06 Nov 2014 23:49:22 +0000

Brother David Steindl-Rast, A Network of Grateful Living (ANG*L) and his many books!

Br. Steindl-Rast, against solidification:
The religions start from mysticism. There is no other way to start a religion. But, I compare this to a volcano that gushes forth …and then …the magma flows down the sides of the mountain and cools off. And when it reaches the bottom, it’s just rocks. You’d never guess that there was fire in it. So after a couple of hundred years, or two thousand years or more, what was once alive is dead rock. Doctrine becomes doctrinaire. Morals become moralistic. Ritual becomes ritualistic. What do we do with it? We have to push through this crust and go to the fire that’s within it. — During Link TV’s Lunch With Bokara 2005 episode The Monk and the Rabbi.